While surfing the Web the other day, I came across a website for a new app called 'Juicebox'. It promises to offer "better sex and relationships" from a now-quintet of self-styled "relationship coaches." For $24 a week, you get, well...unlimited chat or something with one of these 'coaches'.
Just the very sort of people you should be texting instead of going out and meeting people. But never fear: the website explains that "all of our coaches are vetted experts who believe that having fulfilling sex and relationships is a basic human right."
Of course, if they really were experts they would realize 'fulfilling sex and relationships' is not a basic human right. Access to such things, yes. Our Declaration of Independence even lists the 'pursuit of happiness' as an inalienable right. But pursuing and obtaining are two different things. Obtaining love is a matter of earning it; and earning it takes actual effort.
Now, if one reads the description next to these profiles, one should ask oneself if there is any advice which they could offer worth over $1200 per year. The first states that she "believes connection and intimacy is fundamental." So who doesn't believe that? The third "helps men and women date with confidence through insights and humor." I doubt that it's a major revelation that most women are attracted to intelligence and a sense of humor.
"Our coaches never judge." the advert reads. "We welcome open and honest conversation about your desires and needs." If they don't 'judge' behavior, how do these coaches correct it?
There's a picture in the middle of the page of cherries, for some reason.
A pop-up comes up noting that "hands holding a pile of fresh cherries symbolize increased sexual pleasure." To me, though, it symbolizes cherry pie:
Why not take the $24 you saved and invite a Young Lovely out for some cherry pie? That will do you more good than listening to some yahoo spouting off and running up your phone bills.