Monday, January 15, 2018

JEANS IN DISTRESS

    So I spent a good part of this weekend on some good wardrobe upgrades. Maybe we'll talk more about that later. 😉  Anyway, for now, I'd like to discuss men's jeans. 

    You see, for the first time in awhile I decided to check out Ebay for some discounts I'd accumulated and---what????? It seems like half the adverts were for distressed jeans. I've actually thrown away jeans in better condition than most of the garbage that sellers were peddling. And there were actually some new pairs that cost less. 

    As that great American cynic, Phineas T. Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute."

    What are distressed jeans? Well, they were a woman's fashion that started back in the 1980s. Basically, they are jeans with tears or rips in various places. Now on girls they can actually look rather cute. These flaws draw attention to the leg


   and give our eyes a glimpse of what lies underneath. But on man, showing off his thighs and knees obviously looks rather stupid. In fact, the Urban Dictionary sums the attitude of any man with even rudimentary Good Taste perfectly:

         "Distressed jeans are society's proof that dressing like a hobo has finally risen to a status symbol...In spite of common sense indicating otherwise, the trend has remained popular with certain segments of the population. They are often found at outrageous prices at clothing stores. Why people would pay more for ripped jeans than for intact, clean, denim jeans is beyond me."

        Well after learning that people actually pay more for new jeans that look like they were dug out of a Tent City than for good ones, the can feel less guilty for buying more expensive brands. You spent $325 on a pair of Versace's instead of a $25 pair of Levi's? At least you look good and you're not some chump who really overspent. 

       And as a side note, one doesn't have to look very far on women's websites to see that the girls really don't care much for the look on men. Here's what the editor of a women's site concluded after polling her readers:

       "In summation: if you're wearing ripped jeans because they ripped during some grand display of physical activity and you don't care to replace them; then you probably don't care what women think of your outfit anyway, or at the very least don't want to hang around with women who care about what you wear. And, if you're wearing ripped jeans because you paid for them, then you're a dingus." 

        Don't be this guy:


     
     If you wear denim, do it with style:

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