Thursday, December 21, 2017


    So, it is that time of year again. As a life-long, last-minute shopper thoughts naturally turn to this subject around the First Day of Winter. Speaking for myself, I wish we'd go back to the old system when Christmas Day was the beginning instead of the end of the Christmas Season. The Twelve Days of Christmas formerly referred to the religious feast of Christmas to the Feast of the Epiphany (or Twelfthnight, as it was known in Old English) which fell on January 6th. 

     Of course, if you happen to be engaged in an industry that does most of its business during Christmas and New Year's, you're allowed to disagree.😊 

    What occasioned this post however stemmed from seeing something on dating site recently. There was a young woman there---interesting and average-to-above average attractiveness. While I was pondering her potential as a future consort, a full three to four days later she was posting appreciation "to all the wonderful guys who'd sent her gifts"! 

      I found this intriguing, but after asking around single friends a bit, I learned this is not that uncommon; and some women even post Wish Lists for willing suitors. If this is happening to any great extent, men need some serious counseling. 

      Yes, I mean the men here, who are enabling this kind of bad behavior. We can criticize the girls all we want to; but honestly, if I posted on a dating site that I wanted a new motorcycle and several expensive clothes---and within a week women I didn't even know were buying them for me, I wouldn't complain. And neither would most people. 

       Let's get a grip on reality here. Gifts are a reward and sometimes a reconciliation. They aren't bribes---and that's exactly what these misguided men are doing. Think back to childhood: Santa Claus used naughty and nice when dispensing gifts, right? Which also assumes---even by childhood logic---that he knew the children whom he was rewarding. That was part of the lesson of the Santa Claus tale; but apparently many men missed the lesson. 

       In normal and traditional dating procedure, men gift women in increments. You don't buy for a girl you just met a mink coat like a husband would buy for his wife. There's a reason for this. Women want men who will provide for them but they have very strong prejudices against women who sell themselves outright. And don't forget that the kind of woman who can be bought may eventually meet another guy who offers a higher price. 

       There's nothing wrong with buying expensive gifts for women who've already proven themselves in a committed relationship or marriage. In this case, it amounts to a reward a statement of appreciation. That's why when buying gifts for women, men go from small to large depending on the depth of the relationship. A girl you just met has been rewarded for doing nothing; and to be fair, she can't be blamed if she doesn't reciprocate in some way. What a man in this situation is thinking (albeit subconsciously) is to reward the girl in advance. You can see how foolish this line of reasoning is just by analyzing it.

       Don't be those guys. As wise old Ben Franklin---ever popular with the ladies himself---used to say, "You can catch more bees with a spoonful of honey than with a gallon of vinegar." 

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